Elias D Burns Down the School

Transcript

 * (Sacramento, California, November 14, 2020)
 * [Delightful music playing while students are walking in the hallways]
 * Teacher (Name Unknown): Alright class, the reason why I had you get a computer from the cart is, since Thanksgiving break is in 7 days, I thought maybe we can play Kahoot! for the rest of class. I’ll put the code on the whiteboard.
 * Elias D: I’m going to troll my teacher by adding boys to Kahoot! and troll the whole class. Hahahahahahahaha!
 * Teacher: Alright class. Go ahead and type in the code. You can get extra credit by using your name only.
 * Rachel Rabbit: Extra Credit you say? I think I’ll use my name.
 * Elias D: Now I’m going to add the bots to the game. Hahahahahahahaha!
 * Bots being added to the screen
 * Teacher: Who the heck is adding bots?? Whoever it is, get rid of them now! You’re wasting our Kahoot! time right now.
 * Kirby Cat: I didn’t add the bots teacher, I swear to god.
 * Teacher: I know it wasn’t you Angielica, I’m just going to have to just click play.
 * Starts game, walks away from desk
 * Elias D: Oh, I know this one hahahaha.
 * Question pulls up with bots and students inputting answers
 * Teacher runs back to desk
 * Teacher: I’m checking all of your computers right now to see who is controlling the bots.
 * Elias D: Oh drat! I’m screwed!
 * Teacher: Okay Brooklyn, you’re good.
 * Walks to Venicio
 * Teacher: Okay Venicio, you’re also good.
 * Walks to Elias D
 * Teacher: What about you Elias D? Are you control—
 * Shocking suspense plays
 * Teacher: Elias D, I can’t believe you were the person behind the whole Kahoot! bots. For this behavior of yours, go to the Dean’s office now.
 * Elias D: No I’m fucking not you fucking ****
 * Teacher: Elias D! Do not set that match on fire!
 * Elias D: Too late!!
 * [Fire alarms sound]
 * Principal Susan: This is Principal Susan speaking. We need everyone to evacuate the school now, a fire had been set in the school. Please go to the nearest exit and evacuate now.
 * Students running and wailing outside of the school
 * Wailing stops
 * Officer 1 and Officer 2 tackle Elias D
 * Elias D: Hey, let me go right now! Let me f***ing go!
 * Officer 1: You’re not going anywhere, kid.
 * Miffy: [offscreen] This is reporter Miffy reporting with Sacramento Pre-K to 12th Grade School where a massive, deadly and gigantic fire has been set. Police and the U.S. Armed Forces alongside the Mexican Army report that this fire was set for revenge and attention. This appears that someone that attends here set this school on fire with harmful extensions. This school was set on an immediate evacuation when Principal Susan went on the intercom. We are now talking to an SRO school resource officer, Deputy David Yoon. Do you know which student would have done such a thing like this?
 * Deputy David: The story from 11th grade teacher Miss Kayla Morita, it turns out while playing Kahoot! and adding bots to the game, Elias Davis AKA Elias D the Vyonder has set the school on fire with a match and called the teacher such racist stuff in swearing at the teacher, killing 5,800 students and 200 teachers as well as causing so many injuries to students. Due to both the damage of the school and the highest number of casualties, all students will not be able to come to school in another three months or so. The fine for the whole school, all the stuff inside and the hospital bills are worth $700,000 for the building itself and all the stuff inside the building with surgery bills also.
 * Miffy: Thank you sir, I appreciate your side of the story. Again, this is Miffy and we will be back after the break.
 * Transition to Jail cell
 * Officer 2: Elias D, get in your cell now.
 * [Elias D walks into cell; cell shuts and Officer 2 walks away]
 * Elias D’s parents appear outside the cell
 * Mrs. Davis: [in Scary Voice 20,000% louder] OH!!!!! (X40) ELIAS D, YOUR COUSINS, AUNTS, UNCLES, YOUR GRANDMOTHER AND I ARE ALL EXTREMELY F***ING FURIOUS AT WHAT YOU DID TODAY!!! YOU DECIDED IT WAS OKAY FOR YOU TO ADD BOTS ONTO KAHOOT! AND SET THE WHOLE SCHOOL ON FIRE!!!!! DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU COULD'VE GOTTEN A DEATH PENALTY FOR DOING S*** LIKE THAT?!!!! WE ARE CHARGED WITH A HUGE FINE BECAUSE OF YOU!!!! YOU ARE GROUNDED, GROUNDED, GROUNDED, GROUNDED, GROUNDED FOR 900 MILLENNIUMS!!!! GO TO BED NOW AND WE'LL SEE YOU IN COURT FOR YOUR CHARGES!!!!