RubyBob RabbitPants: Graveyard Shift/Transcript


 * French Narrator: Ah, the Strawberry Cafe. Jewel Land's premiere daytime eatery. Where it will be closing time right about...
 * Garnet: [talks cheerfully as she switches the "Open" sign to "Closed"] Now! 8:00! [takes off her Strawberry Cafe uniform hat] So long, suckers! I've got a hot date with a little lady, and her name is: [pulls out her clarinet] Clarinet. [Kohaku shows up at the door and knocks on it, causing Garnet to drop her clarinet] What?
 * Kohaku: Are you open?
 * Garnet: [points to the sign] Read the sign.
 * Kohaku: [ignores her] I'll have a vanilla ice cream cake with vanilla Oreo cookies on it and 4 sugar cookies.
 * Garnet: No, you won't! I can't hang out here all night! I've got a life.
 * Kohaku: Well, fine, if you don't want my money!
 * Jasper: [says cheerfully] Money?! [Jasper then falls from the ceiling on top of Garnet] You mean, if we stayed open later, you'd give us your money?
 * Kohaku: [pulls out cash; Yuku, Kris and Nephrite appear behind him] Sure!
 * Jasper: Mrs. Garnet, [tears up the "Closed" sign] welcome to the night shift. From now on, [he puts a spare Strawberry Cafe uniform hat on Garnet's head] the Strawberry Cafe is open 24 hours a day.
 * Garnet: [gets up] What!? [crowd of Jewelpets and Pretty Cures barge in cheering and tramples Garnet]
 * Ruby: [gasps] Wow! Now we never have to stop working!
 * Garnet: [gets up again] Jasper.
 * Jasper: See ya in the morning, ladies! I can't hang out here all night! I've got a life. [leaves]
 * Garnet: Jasper?
 * Ruby: Isn't ther great, Garnet?! Just you and me together for hours and hours and hours and then the sun'll come up and it'll be tomorrow and we'll still be working! [gasps] It'll be just like a sleepover! Only we'll be sweaty and covered with grease! [jumps on cash register counter] Are you ready to rock, Garnet?!
 * Garnet: No.
 * Ruby: Good! 'Cause we've got customers! [jumps through the window above the register, into the kitchen]
 * Garnet: [Luea walks up to counter; Garnet hands her a baseball bat] Here. Please hit me as hard as you can.
 * Ruby: Pst, Garnet. I'm working in the kitchen [giggles] at night!
 * Garnet: [takes hat off; leans head on counter] Don't hold back.
 * Ruby: [cuts to Ruby in the kitchen] Hey, Garnet. Guess what? I'm cutting slices of cake...at night. [cuts to Ruby in the bathroom wiping it clean with herself] Look at me, I'm swabbing the bathroom...at night. [cuts to Ruby at the grill picking up her spatula. He misses the spatula and hits the grill; screams] I burned my hand!...at night. [cuts to Ruby walking on the counter, singing to the tune of Charge] Night, night, night, night, night, night, night, night, night, night, night, night, na-na-na-na-night! Night!
 * Garnet: Will you please?! Here, [hands Ruby a bag of garbage] give me a moment's peace and take out the trash.
 * Ruby: All right! [takes bag from Garnet] Taking out the trash. Taking out the trash at ni— [stops at the door and stares at the dumpster outside in the dark] You mean outside?
 * Garnet: That's where the dumpster is, yes.
 * Ruby: I don't know, Garnet, [leans face against window] it's kinda dark out there.
 * Garnet: But I thought you liked the night shift.
 * Ruby: You're right. [lifts bag over her head] For the Strawberry Cafe! [runs out of the building to the dumpster, screaming and panicking the whole way; reenters the building panting heavily. She snaps her fingers and confidently says] Piece of cake.
 * Garnet: So you're not afraid?
 * Ruby: [walking past Garnet] Pfft, nah.
 * Garnet: Well I am. Especially after, [looks around, gulps] well, you know.
 * Ruby: [stops and turns around] What? What do I know?
 * Garnet: You don't remember? It was all over the news.
 * Ruby: Tell me, tell me!
 * Garnet: No, no, no, I probably shouldn't. It would ruin the night shift for you. [gives a sympathetic look, then smiles slyly]
 * Ruby: [excitedly] What happened, what happened, what happened?!
 * Garnet: You mean you've never heard the story of the [thinks] "Sugar-Slinging Slasher?"
 * Ruby: [a little confused] The Slash-Bringing Sugar?
 * Garnet: The Sugar-Slinging Slasher.
 * Ruby: The Sash-Ringing, the Trash-Singing, Mash-Flinging, The Flash-Springing, Ringing, The Cr-Crash-Dinging, daa.
 * Garnet: Yes. The Sugar-Slinging Slasher. But, most people just call her The Sugar---[breaks into scream] because that's all they have time to say, before she gets them!
 * Ruby: [begging] Tell me the story!
 * Garnet: Years ago at this very cafe, the Sugar-Slinging Slasher used to be a baker, just like you, only clumsier. And then, one night, when she was cutting a chocolate cake... it happened.
 * Ruby: She forgot the secret icing?
 * Garnet: No.
 * Ruby: She didn't wash her hands?
 * Garnet: No.
 * Ruby: Irregular portions?
 * Garnet: No! She cut off her own hand by mistake.
 * Ruby: You mean like this? [pulls one of her arms out of socket, another one grows back in its place] Or like this? [pulls it again, another one grows back] Or this? [does it again] Or this? [does it again] But what about this? Or this, or this, or this, or-
 * Garnet: [interrupts] Except she wasn't like SpongeBob!
 * Ruby: [ask with all her extra hands creating a rainbow-like line] So?
 * Garnet: So it didn't grow back!
 * Ruby: [screams] Oh, no! [all her extra arms lift their hands upwards and run away]
 * Garnet: And she replaced her hand with a rusty kitchen knife. And then, she got hit by a bus! And...at her funeral, they fired her! So now, every...what day is it?
 * Ruby: Tuesday.
 * Garnet: Tuesday night, her ghost returns to the Strawberry Cafe to wreak her horrible vengeance.
 * Ruby: [gasps] But tonight's Tuesday night!
 * Garnet: Then she'll be coming.
 * Ruby: How will we know?
 * Garnet: There are three signs that signal the approach of the Sugar-Slinging Slasher. First, the lights will flicker on and off. Next...
 * Nix: [interrupts] Miss, can I have some ketchup?
 * Garnet: Oh, here you go. [hands him ketchup] Next, the phone will ring and there will be nobody there. [shows Ruby eating her fingernails] And finally, the Sugar-Slinging Slasher arrives in the ghost of the bus, that ran her over! [shows Ruby eating her fingernails, starts eating her arms, the arms regrow and she eats those] Then she exits the bus and crosses the street without looking both ways, because she's already dead! [Ruby begins eating her hands like popcorn] Then she taps on the window with her grizzly knife hand...
 * Ruby: No.
 * Garnet: She opens the door... [pushes her arm to Ruby's face, making it looking like she's a door that's being opened; while doing this she imitates the sound of a creaky door opening. leans towards Ruby's face, which sinks in] She slowly approaches the counter! ["counter" echoes menacingly] ...And you know what he does next?
 * Ruby: What?
 * Garnet: You really want to know?
 * Ruby: What?
 * Garnet: Are you sure you want to know?
 * Ruby: What, what, what does he do?!
 * Garnet: [sneaks up on Ruby, taps her] He gets ya! [Ruby now screams repeatedly for about 20 seconds while Garnet is laughing] Ruby... [continues screaming] Ruby I wa... [screaming continues] I was ju... [Ruby's pupils are now screaming too] I was jus... [screaming continues] Ruby, I was joking!
 * Ruby: What?
 * Garnet: It's not true. None of it's true.
 * Ruby: It's not?
 * Garnet: Of course not. Nobody has a butter knife for a hand. It was all a joke.
 * Ruby: Ohhhhh... [laughs repeatedly like she did with screaming, much to Garnet's annoyance.] [cuts into later in the night. Shows Strawberry Cafe with a big sign that says 'Open Forever']
 * [Garnet is shown at the counter reading a book. Garnet hears spooky noises and feels water dripping on her but she doesn't know what it is.]
 * Ruby: [on the ceiling wearing suction cups cleaning] Isn't this great, Garnet? [Garnet screams] There's never time to wash the ceiling during the day.
 * Garnet: [says to herself] Open 24 hours a day. What a stupid idea. Who wants a cupcake at 3 in the morning?
 * [cuts to Sapphie's bedroom. Sapphie's alarm clock goes off.]
 * Sapphie: [turns off the alarm] Oh, boy! 3 A.M.! [whips out a cupcake from under her blanket and starts to eat it; cuts back to The Strawberry Cafe]
 * Garnet: Just look at this place. It's like a ghost town in here. [lights start to flicker on and off] Very funny, Ruby.
 * Ruby: What?
 * Garnet: "And the lights will flicker on and off." Just like the story. I get it. [realizes no one is flickering the light switch and looks shocked]
 * Ruby: Hey, Garnet, how are you doing that without moving the switch?
 * Garnet: I'm not doing it. It must be the stupid, faulty wiring in here. This place isn't built to run 24 hours a day! [phone rings, Garnet picks it up] What, what, hello? Hello? Hello? [no one's on the other end of the line]
 * Ruby: [walks up to the counter] Nice try, Garnet.
 * Garnet: Nice try, what?
 * Ruby: "The phone will ring and there will be no one there." [raises eyebrows up and down and giggles] Oh, you crack me up.
 * Garnet: Ruby, I'm not doing this. [hangs up phone] Oh no, calm down, calm down. All right, what was it? There was the lights, [lights flicker on and off] and the phone, [phone rings] and the walls will ooze green slime?! [walls start to ooze green slime] No, wait. They always do that. But what was that third thing? [hears a motor, turns her head and opens her eyes wide; a bus pulls up to the Strawberry Cafe doors]
 * Ruby: [walks up to the counter] I didn't know the buses ran this late.
 * Garnet: They don't... [the bus pulls away, dropping off a lioness Jewelpet on the opposite side of the street, all Garnet and Ruby can see is her spooky outline.]
 * Ruby: Well, they're dropping someone off. [from the outside, the lioness Jewelpet lifts her kitchen knife]
 * Garnet: [screams to the point where her fur stand ups and starts wiggling]
 * Garnet: The Sash-Ringing, Flash-Singing, the Bash-Pinging...
 * Ruby: The Sugar-Slinging Slasher! [starts to cry]
 * Garnet: At last you understand! We're doomed!
 * Ruby: No, that's not it. [wipes tear] I am just so touched that you would go through the trouble to dress up as a ghostly baker and stand on the other side of the street, just to entertain me! You must really like me! [cries again]
 * Garnet: Ruby, there are 2 problems with your theory. 1: I'm Fanny Fox's Jewelpet partner. And 2: how can that be me when I'm standing right here?! [the lioness Jewelpet taps on the door with her kitchen knife]
 * Ruby: [screams to the point where her eyelashes grow and start wiggling]
 * Ruby and Garnet: The Sugar-Slinging Slasher! [the lioness Jewelpet walks in the door and up to the counter, Ruby and Garnet hold each other in terror]
 * Garnet: [screams]
 * Ruby: She's going to flip me! Get away! Get away!
 * Garnet: Ruby, no matter what I've said, I've always sort of liked you!
 * Ruby: Garnet, I used your clarinet to unclog my toilet!
 * Garnet: Huh? [the lioness Jewelpet reaches the counter, revealing herself to be just a regular teen as she steps into the light]
 * Ruby: Get away! Get away! Get out of here! You're not welcome here!
 * Lioness Jewelpet: Can I have a job application? I brought my own spatula. [holds up spatula, her sleeve rolls down her arm to show he has her hand] I called here earlier, but I hung up 'cause I was nervous.
 * Ruby: Do you have references?
 * Garnet: [lets go of Ruby] Wait, if that was you on the phone and you on the bus, then who was flickering the lights? [lights flicker on and off; Ruby, Garnet, and the lioness Jewelpet look over and camera darts over to see a vampire flicking a giant light switch]
 * Ruby, Garnet and Lioness Jewelpet: Nosferatu!
 * Nosferatu: [smiles, light turns off]